As years go by, I have gradually started to forget all the horrible details of May 21, 1992. Almost 20 years later I will never forget that it was by far, the worst day of my life.
That day was the day my Mom died.
I remember walking into my Aunt’s house, and seeing my Dad and his siblings sitting around the table. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. but I remember wanting to go home.
When we arrived home, I remember my Dad sitting my brother and I down on the couch and saying the words that no one ever wants to hear, let alone an 11 year old child: “Mommy died”.
The moments that follow that day have become somewhat forgotten, and what pains me the most, the fond memories that preceded that day have also started to fade.
And I hate that. I hate forgetting.
As you know, my Nanny died recently. Even though my hometown is only an hour away from Ottawa, I don’t visit nearly enough. A lot of my Dad’s friends haven’t seen me in years. More than once, people would arrive and without introduction they’d identify me as Amy, merely due to the fact I look like my Mom. I overheard several people whispering “Wow, dosn’t she look like Mary?” and one man (I’m still not certain who he even is) walked up to me and said “You’re just like Mary”. Easily the highlight of an otherwise very difficult day.
My Aunt found this card recently… a little hard to read, but it’s a card from my Mom & Dad thanking my Aunt and family for the gift they gave me after I was born.
Can I just say that I think it’s kind of adorable that my Mom wrote a portion of it from me as an infant? Totally something I think I would do.
Which is the perfect segue to the “permanent change” portion of this post.
I got a tattoo.
I’ve been thinking about getting a tattoo with my Mom’s initials for years, but finding this card changed everything.
I couldn’t be happier with the end result.
My right hand is my working hand, I love that I will be reminded each time I look down that she’s with me each and every day.
I don’t want to forget anymore.
She’s been gone for almost 20 years, but she will never ever be forgotten.