Let me preface this post by saying this isn't a personal attack, but yesterday I read this post and the comments that followed - and it made me a little stabby.
I'm so sick of hearing/reading/being preached to about moderation.
Why? It's simple. Even after losing ~100lbs, moderation is a HUGE struggle for me. I'd go as far to say that even to this day, food in general, is a huge stress for me.
Eliminating certain foods from my diet is something that I did, and still do today. While I wouldn't say some foods are eliminated completely, I do say no. I know myself well enough to know that I won't be satisfied with just 1/2 cup of ice cream. The best solution for me, is just to avoid it completely.
On "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"
I was never (and still am not) a thin person - so you know what? The idea of being thin is kind of awesome to someone that is 267lbs. Maybe the word 'thin' isn't the best choice of words to use in that slogan - I might replace it with 'fit' if I had my way. But if I'm being 100% honest, regardless if we call it thin/fit - I totally agree with it.
I don't want to write a novel - but I just had to get to get my two cents out there and play the devils advocate.
Moderation is great and all - and if it works for you - perfect.
If it doesn't work for you? It's ok to think about being thin and it's certainly ok to have a restrictive diet too.
PS: I ate a pound of chicken wings and had 2 rum and diets at 10:00pm after volleyball last night.
Moderate that bitches.
11 comments:
I have a draft post that I started yesterday after reading the exact same thing. It's easy for people to moderate who perhaps have a healthy relationship with food, or don't' struggle to lose weight. Maybe for them having one piece of chocolate is easy, but I can't even have it in my house. I'm overly annoyed at all the typical healthy living blogs lately - they set a standard hard to live up to, and to be honest, one that I don't think I even want to try.
P.S. I got excited when I saw the title of your post, I love your rants!
That blog made me stabby. Period.
Here's the deal. For me, anyway.
I still can't do "moderation."
The commenter on the previous post that said she'd happily trade her skinny jeans to give in to her next craving obviously doesn't have cravings on a frequent basis. If I give myself permission for moderation, I'm having a piece of cheesecake today and a donut tomorrow and french fries the next day. Or maybe even the same day. I have no "moderation" filter. Moderation = permission for me.
I don't do "never" either, though. That is too far on the other end. I find that making choices is a empowering way to look at it. I am choosing not to have that donut in the breakroom (right now, as a matter of fact). I chose to bring leftover chili instead of ordering out for lunch today. I'm choosing to take a walk on my break today.
When I used to lead a healthy group with elementary schoolers, we used the "every day" and "special occasion" categories. We all know what is healthy to eat every day. But I know what "special occasion" means. My Mamaw's chicken and dumplings on Easter. Homemade peanut butter and chocolate birthday cake. Fresh apple handpie at the pumpkin patch (where we go once a year). Bourbon-cider pumpkin ice cream floats (in a cocktail glass, none the less) with friends. THAT is my moderation. Not something I can get daily in a drive thru. Something that isn't readily available. Something that is special.
And then? I appreciate them more. My runs don't suffer because I'm eating crap.
Nathan had a discussion with a friend recently who doesn't have issues with food. She just didn't understand. He enlightened her based on what he has heard from me. People who don't have food issues - or "struggle" within a 5-pound range that is already socially acceptable - just don't get it. I think people use "trigger" and "craving" and "indulgence" in ways that are much less...severe than others. It's like me saying "I'm a little OCD" when I actually have nothing in common with someone who actually suffers from the disease. Except I realize that.
I don't know. I just agree with you.
I really enjoyed this post Amy. It didn't necessarily seem ranty to me but more an accurate picture of what weight loss actually is.
For me, moderation is a tricky little bugger. There are some tempting things that I am able to eat in moderation while there is simply other things that I will devour if it is in my house. So I do limit certain foods but enjoy other things in moderation.
I think some people truly lack an understanding of the issues that some people face when it comes to food. Perhaps this is because they have not faced it themselves or because they are too one track minded.
I'm on board with all you guys. I didn't read her post - I don't read those blogs, but the bottom line is that the idea of "moderation" is a borderline offensive concept for anyone who knows remotely what it's like to have issues surrounding it. I am willing to bet that 99% of people "think" they have "weight issues" because they have a few (as Krissie says, "socially acceptable") pounds, but honestly, if you struggle with "moderation" then you just CAN'T plain and simply exercise moderation like it's a simple idea. We understand the idea, we get it. But it's a PROBLEM! Anytime anyone says, "you just have to eat less than you're burning" is like the biggest insult to me. NO, REALLY?!?!?! Wow, thanks for breaking it down into simple terms because I think it was just that I didn't understand how it works! Pfffffffffffffffft. Eff you.
Finally some intelligent comments as opposed to the usual "lemming" comments like found on the source post. I find it ironic she even posted something like this - her food really looks disordered in terms of really small portions.
There are some things I just cannot have in the house as I will eat at least 2-3X the portion size. Doesn't make me a bad person.
So agreed. I read her blog and get very very confused. If you can have ice cream every night, you don't get it. As above commenter said above too her eating seems a bit disordered in terms of portions and what she eats.
I say I practice moderation but that's only for some things. I can do it for sweets. I can have a little bit and walk away. But I also have taken out gluten so that I don't just eat carbs ALL the time (which I will - bagel every morning please?). I can't seem to moderate alcohol. One glass a wine turns into one every night or two.
If you haven't actually struggled with the thoughts that happen in relation to food you don't get it. Poor Greg. I can't stop the food guilt. Ever. I have one 'bad' thing and I beat myself up for 24 hours.
Also, being okay with your size 6 jeans instead of a 2? Really. Have you seen a size 14, 16, 18, 20 NOT fit you. Have you ever not been able to fit into anything in a store and leave in tears? Then you don't get it. Sometimes being able to get your leg into a size 8 feels better than anything tastes.
Personally, I'd change it to nothing tastes as good as healthy feels... where health is totally subjective to the person.
/rant over
P.S. I think I might start blogging again and I did a post in response to this too: http://aworkingmomsopinion.blogspot.ca/
YES. I've been thinking a lot about this lately, in that my pants are getting tight and I'm not excited about counting calories/Points/whatever again. I lost 100 lbs with it and still have more to go, but it's a huge commitment.
I KNOW people lose weight without it, I KNOW people can just "eat intuitively" and things work for them- but it's not me. Maybe some day, but honestly I just don't know.
The other day I ate pancakes, because I wanted them. All well and good, right? Well I ate a ton of pancakes, because I was hungry and they were really good. I thought this was a perfect example of why intuitive eating isn't for me (at the very least, right now)- eat what I want? I WANT to eat pancakes. And chips. And drink wine. And eat dessert every night (not pumpkin mixed with yogurt- we're talking chocolate cake AND ice cream). I want to eat broccoli too, so at least there's some kind of balance, but unfortunately that doesn't outweigh the other stuff.
The problem with so many of these Healthy Living Bloggers is that they haven't experienced a true, life-long weight struggle. They gained a few extra pounds in college or because of an injury or some other extenuating circumstance. Yes, they workout hard (and sadly in many cases, restrict the heck out of their food) but they're maintaining the shape they were always meant to have, if that makes sense. I have to FIGHT tooth and nail to stay under 200 lbs (let alone get to my goal weight) and I just cannot relate with this moderation crap.
All that to say, thanks for posting this. And to all these awesome commenters for making me realize I'm not just a "weak ninny" for not being able to follow the moderation business.
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I think weight gain, weight loss, and maintaining are all WAY more mental than physical than most people realize-esp those who have never dealt with that mind space.
I think some foods, for some people, are addictions. The same as an alcoholic needs to stay away from alcohol so as not to binge-so does someone addicted to food. You obviously CAN'T "stay away" from food-so sometimes limiting SOME foods is necessary.
That said, part of working through this to get to our best selves involves figuring out what those triggers are, and why they make us want to go back for more and more of say...ice cream. I don't think necessarily the food item needs to be completely avoided, I think the real task is figuring out the psychology behind the consumption. That of course is a bigger, more daunting task than just never eating ice cream again.
That said, I think you have a healthy balance, Amy. You, from what I can see on here, enjoy being active and healthy and busy, you eat clean and healthy as well...but you also enjoy treats and snacks as a "sometime" thing-and isn't that really what this blogger's idea of "moderation" is? She may not fully get the whole struggle-but I don't think she was trying to be facetious or unkind. I don't read her blog normally so maybe I'm off the mark.
For myself, I don't avoid foods or food groups. I eat carbs (gasp!) daily. I try to make healthy choices, but I definitely will not be giving up on wine or dessert or anything else on occasion.
I've struggled with weight for a long time. I know where it started and I know some of the background reasons why I started to insulate myself with food. Those background pieces take continual work on my part, but I keep trying to figure them out-because as I said-it's not as easy as "having more willpower" or "just don't eat that."
Sure, being slimmer is a huge, huge plus-and I think any of us who have been heavier would agree that we have all done WHATEVER we could do-from fad diets to starvation-in our attempt to get to "thin."
Being healthy though-in ALL it's facets, are what "moderation" mean to me.
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